i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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