We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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