wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
