Soap is not a condiment
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Your penis caused this!
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