YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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