Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
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