I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Success! We fucked roommates!
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
