We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
