you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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