We need to rekindle our bromance
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
