I look better un-naked...
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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