a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
