I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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