you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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