real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
