Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
birth control should be required to get into college
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
God I need to hump something, right now.
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