Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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