Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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