I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
My hand turned me down
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
The air was thick with penises
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
