How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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