TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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