Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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