Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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