something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
