I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize