are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize