So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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