I think scott just propositioned me for sex
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
