is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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