She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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