turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
