the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
