Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize