she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
