Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
