just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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