My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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