I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
accomplished twins. life is a go
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
