i barfeds in our rink
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
