Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Randomize
