An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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