I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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