the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
