Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
