Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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