Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
