nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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