3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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