This girl is more easily done than said...
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
