I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
