Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
