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we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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