i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
