yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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