I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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