so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Randomize
