Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
worst night to have a conscience
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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