Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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