do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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