Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize