So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
i will never coherently bang her
smell my finger.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
