so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
