My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
