An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
