haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
and she was petting her beer can
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize
