I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize