sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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