Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i dont even know how to be here
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
