and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
