Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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