Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
