Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize