What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Randomize
