I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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