How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
jump out the window naked night went bad
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